Divorce can be a difficult time for the whole family, and children are often caught in the middle and the most affected by such a major change in their lives. Although it is a delicate situation there are methods by which the little ones can be prepared for such a transition.
Children, often caught in the middle of their parents' problems PHOTO Shutterstock
In 2020, the European Union mourned 1.4 million marriages and around 700,000 divorces, according to Eurostat data. Data from the National Institute of Statistics show that, in Romania, one divorce was registered for every 3.5 marriages.
Thus, our country went from a 16% divorce rate in 1990 to 28.5% at the end of 2020.
In 2021, over 30,000 Romanian couples could no longer resist and officially requested legal separation.
Those who suffer the most, due to the separation of a couple, are the children. So again how can this delicate situation be approached.
1. Empathetic and open communication
The first step in preparing children for divorce is to provide them with an environment where they feel free to talk about their feelings. Have an open and empathetic dialogue, assuring them that they are heard and understood. Avoid arguments in front of them and avoid taking out your frustrations on them. Encourage them to share any concerns and questions.
2. Maintaining routine and stability
In the midst of change, stability is key. Try to maintain the children's daily routine as much as possible, including school schedules, extracurricular activities, and bedtimes. This can help reduce anxiety and provide a sense of security at a troubling time.
3. Avoid involving them in conflicts
It is crucial to avoid involving children in conflicts between parents. Even if your relationship ends, the role of parent does not end. Try to keep communication civil and make decisions about the children together. Avoid expressing your disagreements in their presence. Even when the relationship does not end on amicable terms, the custodial parent should not cast the other in a bad light. It is not normal for the child to be put in a position to choose between his parents, nor to become the confidant of any of them. Otherwise, there is a risk that he will develop feelings of guilt.
4. Consulting a specialist
A family and divorce counselor or therapist can play a key role in helping children get through this difficult time. It can provide them with a neutral space where they can freely express their feelings and will give them guidance in managing them. Together with a specialist, you can develop strategies adapted to the needs of each individual child.
5. Focusing on the positive aspects
Divorce can also have positive aspects, such as better family harmony and less stress in everyday life. Help children identify these aspects and focus on the new opportunities this change can bring.
Preparing children for divorce remains a sensitive and complex process that requires attention and empathy from parents. Open communication, stability and specialized support are the key factors that will help the child get through this period, with more confidence in the future.
