We are in full swing of the 2024 Baccalaureate exam, and next week the emotions also begin for the secondary school graduates who will, in turn, go through a few days of fire: the National Assessment exam. Because their future depends on these national exams, children experience very strong emotions and carry enormous pressure on their shoulders. Here is what advice psychologists come up with for parents. Because parents are the ones who can push the child towards success or, why not, towards failure.
The 2024 National Assessment starts on Tuesday 25 June. Photo source: archive
Not only children experience emotions during this period, but also the whole family. Mom and Dad act like they’re taking the exam too. And they do, but in a different form. Unfortunately, the way parents act and react directly affects the child’s perception of everything this big “hop” in his life means. So how should we go about helping students instead of panicking, scaring them?
“Leave the children alone! Stop being nagging!”
“The pressure that parents have exerted over time on teenagers can have extremely harsh effects, with negative results on all teenagers who are currently taking exams. I recommend parents to leave them alone, now on the verge of exams. At least now, during this period, stop nagging them, stop talking to them. Dear parents, your nerves, anger, frustration, all the negative elements related to what the child does, when the child does, when he learns and why he learns, are not related to teenagers, but to you. Children are not the mirror of you and your helplessness. Children represent their personal universe, which is not related to the universe of their parents. psychologist Radu Leca explained for “Adevărul”.
The specialist believes that a healthy diet, rest, relaxation and harmony in the family would be of real help. There should be as little stress as possible. “Children need to be supported by parents with quality food so they can be in top shape. Vitamins, minerals and nutrients should come from healthy foods and not fast food. Then, children should avoid sweets during this period in order not to become restless, so that they can rest well at night”continues the expert.
“From a psychological point of view, the child needs to be supported with questions like: How can I help you? What can I do for you? “These questions should be asked only once a day, so that we do not become nagging,” says the psychologist.
How should a parent who has a child not very dedicated to study proceed? “Fattening the pig on Eve is impossible. And if you keep your mouth shut, you still won’t solve anything. You might just annoy him“. Before the exam, this weekend, for example, students who are preparing for the National Assessment should rest and relax, according to Radu Leca.
“Working on the Romanian language and mathematics until the exam threshold, non-stop, without breaks, is a waste of time and energy. Now the children should go outside, walk around, have some recreational activities that will take them out of their tense state. And the parent should be by his side and encourage him to do something else besides practice and work. The child clearly needs help. If he doesn’t get that help, that means the parent has a problem“, concluded the psychologist.
A good sleep, healthy food, sports and friends – the recipe for success
Dr. Beth Mosley, mental health expert and author of the book “Happy Families”, also comes with a series of tips to relax the atmosphere in the family.
“Ask the child how he would like to be helped! Don’t assume you know what your child needs from you. I’ve spoken to many teenagers after they’ve flunked their exams and they’ve said they wish their parents had intervened more strongly to help them structure their time and motivate them, but they didn’t to nag them. Often, parents assume that disinterest in the exam is laziness or carelessness. But it is quite possible that it is something else: the child feels overwhelmed and closes in on himself. Help him take small steps to overcome this feeling.” the author recommends.
Children, says Dr. Beth Mosley, need a calm and organized environment, sleep, regular meals, rest, sports and friends. “Help your child with the basics: sleep, regular meals, physical activity and connecting with others. A good night’s sleep improves memory and learning, so if he has this dilemma of whether to study late at night or go to bed, remind him that sleep will help him more.” Physical activity during exam period is important and helps process stress neurotransmitters, releases feel-good hormones, gives the brain a break from studying. “Research shows that exercising after 4 hours of studying helps to retain information”the psychologist also specified.
The biggest mistake: threatening the child before the exam
Psychologist Mihai Copăceanu recommends parents not to stress their children too much. They are already under pressure, very stressed, some anxious, some worried or even fearful about what the future holds for them if they don’t get a high grade. “The parent must give them confidence, encourage them to overcome this period. Children need support, they need to spend quality time with their parents, to feel that they are with them regardless of the results achieved”.
During this period, students should have concerns to get them out of this state, to relax them. Family discussions should focus on other topics, not related to exams, results, failure. “I do not recommend parents to threaten children, blackmail them, be aggressive, judge them, condemn them. To avoid punishments, rigid measures. Children need mature and responsible parents, not people who threaten them before the exam”, the psychologist Mihai Copăceanu also specified.
