When your intimate life doesn't live up to expectations, identifying the problems can be a real challenge. Often, the daily routine and seemingly harmless behaviors can be determining factors in the destruction of the sex life.
Lawrence Siegel, a renowned sexologist and educator, tells HuffPost that many people's lifestyles negatively impact their sex lives. “There are obvious factors such as intense stress and insufficient sleep. But there are other, more subtle factors in everyday life that are worth considering.”
Siegel and other specialists have detailed the impact of daily activities that have a negative effect on sex life.
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Excessive cell phone use
Hours spent on social media can undermine your ability to feel pleasure. Obsessive social media browsing can disconnect you from the present moment and your body.
Kelifern Pomeranz, psychologist and sex therapist, says this digital obsession robs you of precious time for real interaction. Siegel adds that anxiety generated by social media can reduce sexual desire.
“While online interactions can provide a level of comfort, it's crucial to set aside time offline to foster deeper relationships with current partners or explore potential new connections.”, she said.
Constantly checking your phone and preoccupying yourself with social media can make you feel socially isolated and lead to persistent feelings of stress and anxiety that reduce sex drive and appetite, Siegel said.
“Social media can also make intimacy and attraction to one's partner a casualty by comparing them to the unrealistic and fake images they see, which ultimately leads to feelings of attraction and less desire for him.”, Lawrence Siegel said.
Sedentary life and sitting too much at the office
A sedentary lifestyle can negatively affect health, but also your intimate life. Pomeranz and Siegel argue that exercise has a direct correlation with improved sexual health.
“Studies show that there is a direct correlation between increased physical activity and improved health and sexual function. In addition, inactivity can have a negative impact on mood, self-esteem and perception of the partner.”, added Kelifern Pomeranz, sex therapist and psychologist by profession.
Overwork can cause sex life
If you fail to demarcate your work time from your personal time, this can have a negative impact on your intimate life. Sexuality educator Luna Matatas suggests implementing rituals to disconnect from work.
“It can be hard to have a separation between your work time and your free time.”, Matatas said, noting that this is especially true if you work from home.
“If your mind isn't open to pleasure or is still focused on the job, it can be hard for some people to re-enter their body – no matter how good it feels.”she said. “For example, think about using a vibrator, but don't think about sex while you're doing it!”
Sexual fantasy should not only exist after the daily tasks are over
You need to integrate desire and pleasure into your daily life, not just in intimate moments.
“Our erotic imagination is available to us all the time and plays a role in building arousal throughout the day. Wear underwear that makes you feel sexy, even if it's just under your clothes; reading or listening to erotic books on the way home, etc.”, Matatas said. “Feeling connected to your own sexuality on a regular basis makes it easier to not have to 'dig deep' to rekindle your sexuality when an opportunity for pleasure arises.”
You don't drink enough water
Adequate hydration is essential for the optimal functioning of the body and, by implication, for the sex life.
“Hydration is integral to arousal, function, orgasm and pleasure.”, Howard said. “Excitement is blood circulation, and circulation is directly influenced by the active amount of usable water in the body.”
Excessive alcohol consumption
Alcohol in large quantities can affect sexual performance and appetite. “While drugs and alcohol can lower inhibitions, creating more space to be adventurous with sexual fantasies, drugs and alcohol can also impact our ability to have and experience orgasms. “, sex therapist Jesse Kahn, director of the Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York City, told HuffPost. “While we know sex isn't all about orgasms, they are a fun part of sex.”
The same can be said about marijuana use, which “As more states legalize it for both medical and recreational use, more people are becoming daily users — or continuing their daily use but without fear of legal repercussions.”Siegel said.
“Add to this the fact that the percentages of THC (the psychoactive component of marijuana) have increased rapidly, which has led to more reports of decreased sexual interest, especially in young people.”
Side effects of certain medications
If you suspect that the medications you are taking are affecting your sex life, talk to your doctor about possible solutions. “Antihistamines, decongestants, antacids, and even so-called natural products that claim to increase libido can have a dampening effect; especially when taken long-term.”, Siegel said.
