The number of young Romanians who choose to study at university abroad has exceeded 30,000. Leaving comes with a series of challenges, the biggest of which is academic, not cultural adaptation, believes clinical psychologist Mihai Copăceanu.
Adapting to a center with students from all over the world can be challenging PHOTO: Pixabay
Going to college is like a declaration of independence. Most young people look forward to this moment, think about it for years, and the separation from the family sometimes turns out to be much harder for parents than for their children, especially for those parents who like to have everything under control.
If they choose a university in the country, adapting young people is a fairly easy process, believes clinical psychologist Mihai Copăceanu. Young people are generally excited to start a new chapter. Things, on the other hand, can get complicated in the case of studying abroad, a choice made by over 30,000 young people in Romania.
“There are a number of challenges for a new student abroad, some predictable and known and others that arise out of the blue. Fortunately, in many cases, today’s young people get used to a new culture and civilization already during high school, through visits and trips abroad.” says the psychologist.
What he might not take into account, however, is that he is leaving Romania with “baggage” for which the adults around the young man are largely responsible.
“I think that a common prejudice is the one with reference to Romanian nationalism and pride. We are often taught at school and in the family that we are unique and special, the most special, that we are much more academically prepared, international Olympians, that what we study in the 6th grade, Westerners learn in the 9th grade, or in reality the situation is much different. Young Romanian students get to experience on the one hand that Romania is really not the center of the world, not even of Europe, that your nationality does not matter much in a university with hundreds of identities and on the other hand that at a university in the West you have to study, not just before exams, but constantly, daily, seriously and efficiently. I think this is the biggest challenge, that of academic adaptation, not cultural”explains the psychologist.
Between the “sermons” of parents and the need for independence
Distance from the family, and continuing studies in another city/country offers such an opportunity, is an essential stage, says the psychologist, in the process of acquiring independence and personal autonomy.
It is more than a test, the young person matures much more through these (necessary) life experiences, in contrast to the lessons and “sermons” of the parents, adds the psychologist.
“Many young people dream of this stage two, three years in advance, prepare mentally and are very curious and impatient. I find the difficulty rather to be found among hyperprotective and anxious parents who suddenly find themselves no longer in absolute control, that they no longer know all the details and everyday activities of their own teenager’s life, and present a series of partly justified, but often exaggerated”, explains the psychologist.
In this process of adapting to the new situation, the way the faculty was chosen weighs a lot. “In cases where the choice of faculty is the result of an assumed process and a complex and responsible analysis in order to reduce the risk of crisis situations, young people and parents manage to adapt more easily. On the other hand, in our age we have a range of resources and services at our disposal – from online and video communication, to online bank transfers, online shopping, including fast air transport – so adaptation does not involve many barriers”the specialist reassures us.
If, despite long consideration of a decision, it turns out that the choice was not the right one “essential”, stresses the psychologist Mihai Copăceanu, so that the young man knows that he still has supporters in his parents.
“It is essential to assure the young person that, regardless of the lack of adaptation to a new study program, in the struggle with the feeling of failure regarding the choice of the faculty, the parents are equally mature and supportive, not forever critical and judgmental, but capable of choosing with responsibility a new career options”the psychologist concluded.
