An international marriage expert and renowned author, Debra Macleod, has observed, in her more than two decades of experience, several common couple grievances that men have with their partners.
Arguing in partners in a couple relationship Photo Shutterstock
Unsatisfied spouses come to a psychologist or mediator, for therapy or counseling, with various problems — from infidelity and conflicts with in-laws, to many others. According to a study, about 14% of couples feel unhappy in their marriage.
In her work, Debra Macleod has discovered that despite the diversity of marriage problems, certain complaints are particularly common and worth discussing, because if you’re not careful, one or more of these problems can become major obstacles to happiness conjugal
The good news is that each of us has the power to overcome these pitfalls—before they cause permanent damage.
Here are the most common couple complaints of men, according to the international expert who also offers some marriage / relationship advice.
The wife always seems angry
When communicating with her husband, the woman’s tone is often filled with negativity and criticism. If the husband tries to express concerns about the marriage, she responds defensively and angrily, and passes the blame instead of really listening to her partner.
Constant criticism
When the husband has free time, she overwhelms him with household chores. If he goes out with friends, she bombards him with texts, constantly asking when he’s coming back. This attitude reflects micromanaging boss behavior within the marriage.
Quarrel between partners in a couple relationship Photo Shutterstock
Rejects partner’s advances
When he makes advances, she rolls her eyes, turns her back, or makes up all sorts of excuses. In the rare moments of intimacy, she remains still, just waiting for the moment to end. Lack of intimacy is a major cause of divorce, according to statistics.
It is neglected
Whether she has stopped exercising or wears sloppy clothes, after marriage or even in a longer relationship, the woman at some point begins to neglect herself and lose her energy and enthusiasm. Although this is not always a major complaint, women who feel unattractive can withdraw emotionally and physically from their marriage, a fact often mentioned by husbands who go to therapy or counseling.
She makes her role as a mother her main personality trait
She gets much more excited about activities like dating “Mother and Child” than for a romantic evening with her husband. A marriage focused solely on children may not feel like a real marriage, but rather like a kindergarten.
He is the alpha parent
As the leader in the education of the children, the woman argues with her husband every time he tries to be a father or to educate his children in his own way. This limits the father’s role in the children’s lives and creates a distance between the partners.
He doesn’t show his gratitude
Regardless of the efforts of the husband, whether he worked overtime or built something for the family, the wife never appreciates what the partner does for her and the family and does not show him gratitude.
Family Feud Photo Shutterstock
He has no personal passions
A lack of interests or hobbies outside of marriage or household responsibilities makes the married woman predictable and boring, with nothing interesting to add to the conversation.
Simple tricks to reactivate the relationship of the couple
If you’re worried that the passion in your marriage is starting to wane, don’t panic, advises the marriage specialist. Instead, he recommends looking carefully at the answers to these four questions: “How can you bring more positivity and romance into your marriage?”; “How can you make your spouse feel more valued and wanted?”; “How can you support and encourage him to be a loving and competent parent?” and “How can you make him happy?”.
“Believe it or not, focusing on your husband’s happiness is the most effective way to motivate him to do the same for you. Loving and appreciative behavior will attract the same behavior from your partner. So does positivity and enthusiasm, fun and affection – they become reciprocal. Sometimes it’s just that simple. Because a relationship, especially a couple relationship, only works with the involvement of both partners, and men also have an important role to play. However, there is nothing stopping you from taking the initiative and doing everything you can to transform your marriage into a happier, more harmonious and stronger one, starting today.”recommends Debra Macleod.
