A new study has revealed the most common ways by which people choose to conclude a relationship, one of them proving to be extremely popular.
Researchers have outlined the main strategies through which shutterstock photo people break up
The research, conducted in Cyprus and led by Professor Menelaos Apostolou from the University of Nicosia, analyzed the behavior related to separation among Greek -language speaking adults and evaluated whether personality traits influence how a person chooses to end a relationship, writes the Daily Mail.
“Most people will experience the end of an intimate relationship, usually several times, either as initiators or as a party suffering.”explained Apostolou. “Because this phenomenon is frequent and painful, I wanted to understand how it happens, concretely.”
The study methodology
The first phase of the study included 228 adults-122 women and 105 men-who were asked to imagine that they are in an unfortunate relationship and describe how they would end the connection.
The second part included a larger sample of 392 people (185 women, 201 men, two people who identified themselves as “Something else” and four who preferred not to say). Participants, with an average age between 30 and 34, were invited to evaluate how likely to use each of the 45 separation methods identified by researchers.
Based on these answers, the specialists have outlined nine separation strategies, including:
1. Explanation of reasons – sincere and direct discussion
2. Cold and distant attitude – gradual withdrawal from the relationship
3. Ghosting – disappearance without explanation
4. Mattle of shock or assuming guilt – separation in which you take responsibility
5. infidelity – separation invoking interest in someone else
6. Pause from the relationship – temporary separation
7. Keeping a friendship relationship – transition to a platonic relationship
8. Better separately – separation in the interest of both
9. Avoid confrontation – separation through messages or social networks
The most used 3 separation strategies
Lightning shock – 86% of participants
By far the most popular method, “Mitigating the shock” It involves an empathetic and sincere approach: explaining the reasons, taking responsibility and presenting the separation as a beneficial decision for both parties.
This strategy reflects the desire to reduce suffering and conflict at an already difficult time.
Temporary break – 24%
A significant part of the participants preferred a break instead of a definitive break. The idea is to take a distance so that everyone clarify their feelings and decide whether the relationship has a future.
Apostolou describes this strategy as being “The second most preferred”because it offers a way to avoid sudden decisions.
Avoid confrontation – 16%
The least used method involves direct avoidance of separation – through ghosting, emotional or physical disappearance. Although he escapes conflict, this behavior can leave the other person with many questions and without emotional closure.
“People use three main strategies to conclude an intimate relationship.”said Apostolou. “The most common is the mitigation of the shock, then the temporary break, and in the end the avoidance of the confrontation.”
Personality influences but not decisive
The study found that people with a high degree of pleasure – considered to be kind and careful – avoid cold and distances. In contrast, those with manipulative features (Machiavelism) tend to choose such approaches. Also, people with high levels of psychopathic features were more inclined to blame the partner.
However, the impact of personality traits, age or genre on choosing the separation strategy has proven to be reduced. Apostolou acknowledged that he was expecting clearer differences, but they proved to be “Very small or non -existent”.
Culture and evolution could count more
The results, published in Personality and Individual Differences, suggest that cultural and evolutionary factors could influence more partitions than personal features.
In the past, the interruption of a relationship could have social or even existential consequences, so a gentle separation, which reduces the conflict and retains the reputation, could be a survival strategy.
“The phenomenon is complex”says Apostol. “Only one study can only offer a general image of how people end the intimate relationships. My final goal is to understand how these relationships work – and current research is a step in this direction.”
