Most of the invisible burdens tend to fall on the mother's shoulders. Although men have begun to take on more practical household responsibilities than in the past, women typically continue to carry the bulk of a household's burdens.
“Women not only do more work, the work they do is mentally and emotionally demanding: anticipating and planning how to meet family needs”Laura Dange, an educator who facilitates workshops on housework, told HuffPost.
The publication asked mothers which invisible tasks are more demanding than they might seem. Here's what they told us:
1. To keep the children's wardrobe up to date
Lina Forrestal, content creator and host of “The New Mamas Podcast,” said keeping up-to-date with fast-growing babies and toddlers' wardrobes with items that fit is a “huge challenge.”
“Everything from pants, shirts, socks and shoes,” she told HuffPost. “Then there is the task of having to buy new things and put away, donate or sell the old things that no longer fit. It's the biggest invisible waste of time.”
A mother also needs to make sure that the clothes are appropriate for the season – that is, make sure that the little ones have bathing suits that are the right size for the summer and sweaters and pants that fit for the winter months.
2. Meal planning
Caitlin Murray, the creator behind @BigTimeAdulting on Instagram, said that while there are a million items on her to-do list during invisible work, the most consuming is figuring out what her family will eat each day . And that doesn't just mean coming up with meal ideas, but also finding balanced, nutritious and tasty options that all three of her children will enjoy.
For comic artist Debbie Tung, it's also taking time to carefully plan meals and create a shopping list so she only buys products she knows she'll use to avoid food waste .
3. Keeping track of necessary household items
This may not seem like a monumental task on the surface, but constantly staying on top of things that need to be replaced or replenished – such as diapers, toiletries, cleaning supplies, snacks and pet food, just to name a few a few – require a fair amount of mental work.
“Why is it usually the mother who knows what products or foods are running out at any given time in the family?” asked Renee Reina Grenon, host of “The Mom Room” podcast, to HuffPost.
4. Management of school programs, needs and communication
For Starr, these school-related tasks involve
“much more than meets the eyee”. An example: reading all emails and school documents that are sent home and then taking action on anything that needs a response.
“For some of these items, that means checking my schedule to see if I can take time off work to volunteer in a class or at a school event, or marking the schedule because it's a half of the day or is there a trip or something we need to plan”Starr said.
Other duties include, but are not limited to, signing up for extracurricular activities, helping with school fundraisers, obtaining doctor's notes to excuse absences, and answering questions or notes from teachers.
5. Appointment scheduling
In writer and content creator CJ Kelsey's home, she's usually the one tasked with scheduling and managing meetings, she said. “I not only take care of my children's doctor's appointments, but now also my parents'” she told HuffPost. “And it takes a lot of time to make the phones and keep them all organized.”
6. Attending birthday parties
Planning a birthday party for your child can be very demanding, but it is a once-a-year event. However, you may be invited to other children's parties a few times a month – or even more.
“It doesn't seem like it, but being invited is a lot of work,” Forrestal said. “From remembering to RSVP, to buying a gift, to the mental calculations to get to the birthday party location on time – usually on a weekend with other events going on.”
