Lately, in Sibiu County there has been an increase in cases of disappearances among children. Psychologist Mihai Copăceanu draws attention to the causes that cause them to leave home and propose solutions to prevent the phenomenon.
Most often, poverty makes children run away from home. Archive
Mihai Copăceanu points out that, although the official term used is “voluntary departure”, this does not mean that minors choose to leave for no serious reason.
“There are several situations where minors voluntarily leave home, there are more influences and more causes. It is certain that in Sibiu County we find an increase in these cases. Although the term used is a voluntary departure, that is, in most cases not about abductions, in my acceptance as a psychologist, a person does not leave a place if he did not become hostile, from several points of view ”, explained the specialist for oradesibiu.ro.
Why do teenagers leave home? The psychologist identifies several main categories of voluntary departures among children.
These print, impulsive departures, caused by conflicts that appear within the family. “A first category would be the sudden, unplanned, impulsive home departures, following a conflict between the minor and the family, which led to a particularly tense situation that the minor can no longer manage, nor tolerate, something unbearable and the only solution to get out of the situation, is, at that time, for him, running away from home ”, explains the psychologist.
In these cases, the words of adults have a strong impact on the minor’s decision. “I point out that some adult statements are perceived much more painfully by minors. For example, here is my house, you do what I say or if you don’t agree, you can leave. The minor can take over as an exhortation as a factor that triggers the idea of leaving and therefore to leave. In short, great attention to the words we use, even when we are in a crisis. ” adds Mihai Copăceanu.
There are also situations in which conflicts are repeated, and the escape becomes a form of escape. “Other times it may be tense situations, repeated conflicts, and the climax is this apparent solution – escape. ” Departures from placement centers are also a problem in Sibiu. “The causes are multiple, in some situations becoming a repetitive behavior of the same minor. At other times, juvenile delinquency appears as a phenomenon”, explains psychologist Mihai Copăceanu.
Psychologist Mihai Copăceanu. Archive
The dangers of the online environment. From Grooming to the “Lover Boy” method
The run because of the toxic relationships and the “lover boy” method is by far the most dangerous and aims at teenagers. “The third category are the voluntary departures of the minors that are influenced in the decision to leave the domicile by proposing a saving solution, promises and new facilities, in the context of an erotic relationship. Here I want to emphasize the often encountered risk of manipulative behavior or, even worse, on human trafficking situations and the ‘lover boy’ method, false love “, said the psychologist
An increasingly encountered phenomenon is online grooming, which exposes children to major risks. “Increasing online grooming cases has led to a greater number of minors to meet unknown people. Online Grooming is a process whereby an adult person manipulates and gradually earns the confidence of an Internet, with the purpose of exploiting, either emotionally or sexually. This process can take from a few days to months and takes place on platforms, as well as forums.” says the psychologist.
Minors from disadvantaged environments are more vulnerable to the escape from home, the specialist continues. “According to the UNICEF report, 1 in 5 children running away from home come from extremely poor environments. The escape from home again becomes a solution to a better place and avoiding abuse and negligence.”
Who is more at risk?
Risk factors are numerous, but family conflicts play an essential role. “Research shows that minors living in conflicting environments are more likely to escape from home. Another study emphasizes that exposure to family conflicts significantly increases the risk of escape to adolescents. At the same time, the lack of emotional support and physical or verbal violence causes them to seek safety elsewhere.”
Adolescents perceive the escape as a temporary solution, but their problems do not disappear. “For adolescents the escape is perceived as a temporary solution to their problems. From the point of view of attachment, the lack of a safe relationship with parents can lead to avoidance and escape behaviors. Other studies have identified depressive symptoms in over 60% of these teenagers, that is.
Parents’ reaction when the child is found and brought home is essential. “When they are identified by the police and are brought home, the reaction of the adult father also becomes an authoritarian one, devoid of empathy and compassion ”, adds Mihai Copăceanu.
Solutions
The psychologist proposes several measures to prevent these situations. “Solutions can involve managing these conflict and tense situations between the parent and the child so that they do not escape to a very serious level. And more than that, there is a community responsibility, which I do not see functional in Romania. For example, if a family presents poverty And there is this risk, we do not see models in which the other neighboring families, the village priest or the mayor adopts help, to support the family just to avoid serious situations ”, said psychologist Mihai Copăceanu.
