Common meals are much more than a daily routine. Studies show that eating together helps us feel more connected and happier. But when meals become a place of tension or control, the effect can be just the opposite.
Meals together. Photo: Getty Images
For thousands of years, people have gathered to share meals, a tradition deeply rooted in human history, according to a BBC analysis. From the campfire of our ancestors to holiday meals or gatherings with friends, the habit of eating together is not only an act of socialization, but also a process of deep meaning.
Why is sharing food essential for us?
The behavior of sharing food can be traced back to before the emergence of our species, biologists say, with bonobos and chimpanzees, humans’ closest relatives, practicing the act. However, “to offer food to those close to you is not the same as having a meal together”emphasizes sociologist Nicklas Neuman, from Uppsala University in Sweden. According to him, “you can share food as an object without actually sitting down and eating with others“. Sitting down and eating together adds a complex social layer to this custom.
The first communal meals may have taken place around a campfire. In this context, groups of hunters and gatherers gathered to prepare and share food, strengthening social bonds in the cooking process. “When you all sit around a fire in the warm light, these extra hours spent together can be golden opportunities for social bonding”, adds Robin Dunbar, a biological anthropologist at Oxford University in the UK.
Eating together and social well-being
Studies show that eating together is associated with greater well-being. In a 2017 study, Dunbar found that people who frequently ate with others had higher levels of life satisfaction and stronger relationships. “Eating triggers the brain’s endorphin system, the main pharmacological basis of bonding in primates and humans”says Dunbar. So shared meals can stimulate the production of endorphins, having a similar effect to group physical activities such as running.
An act of trust and connection
Studies of social behavior also point to the positive effects of eating together. According to research by Cynthia Graeber and Nicola Twiley for the Gastropod podcast, when people share the same food tastes, they become more trusting of each other. Ayelet Fishbach of the University of Chicago found that in an investment simulation, those who had eaten the same candy were more likely to give money to a person they trusted.
Shared meals can also be challenging
However, not all shared meals are positive. There may be situations where family meals or social events can become a source of tension, from conflicts about weight or food decisions. “It’s a place for control and dominance”Neuman explains. For example, meals where someone constantly criticizes the food choices of others can lead to a feeling of discomfort and decreased well-being.
Moreover, in his research among seniors in Sweden, Neuman found that many of them do not feel acute loss when eating alone, even though they enjoy eating in the company of others. “If you are a person who frequently eats with others, then every now and then it would be good to sit alone and read”adds Neuman.
