Maintaining a healthy relationship is a lot like fine-tuning a car, says Darla Gale, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of a book on love, empathy, and emotional healing.
Misunderstandings and conflicts can be avoided with a few simple exercises. PHOTO Shutterstock
Referring to this comparison, the specialist explains in newsweek.com that simply filling the tank will not be enough: you need to check the oil, the brake fluid and make sure that there is enough air in the tires, essential elements without which the “car” cannot it will still work.
According to the therapist, communication is just one piece of that puzzle that needs to be completed for the engine of relationships to run smoothly.
What really accelerates connection between partners is a strong emotional bond fueled by validation, empathy and understanding.
Validating your partner
Darla Gale gave the example of a couple who needed help, where the therapist encouraged each partner to truly understand and experience the other's perspective.
“This is called validation. When you validate your partner, you release the power of acknowledgment and recognition, honoring their feelings, thoughts, and experiences as valid and legitimate. This doesn't mean you have to agree with their every word, it's about your incredible ability to understand and empathize with their unique point of view“, explained the therapist.
Promoting a sense of empathy
With the same couple, the specialist practiced another key component for strengthening the couple: empathy, often considered the foundation of strong and healthy relationships.
“When we are empathetic, we not only understand what someone is feeling, but also how they are feeling. This allows us to respond in a supportive and caring manner, which can strengthen the bond between individuals“, says Darla Gale, according to newsweek.com.
Processing in a unique way
The final piece of this puzzle for strengthening couple bonds is understanding your partner's unique processes
“Given the many twists and turns that shape each individual and weave into the very fabric of relationships, it is absolutely crucial for couples to give each other the freedom to process in their own unique ways. Once my couple delved into a deep understanding of their partner's unique processes, they discovered the key to avoiding misunderstandings and conflict.” explained therapist Darla Gale, author of the book “Sifting through the ashes: finding beauty, peace, love, and strength through trauma” (Sifting through the ashes: finding beauty, peace, love and strength through trauma).
