Narcissists are evil individuals who only care about themselves. However, many people can fall under their spell because they use many manipulative tricks that attract us. Here are some of the classic expressions narcissists use to manipulate your emotions, according to hackspirit.com.
Narcissists use many manipulation tricks that attract us PHOTO The Truth Archive
“Relax, you're overreacting!”
The purpose of these words is to make you feel like you are the unreasonable one. We all know how frustrating it can be when we're told to calm down when we're upset.
That's because it's a blatant attempt to downplay what you're feeling and try to make you feel guilty about it.
Regardless of whether you are perfectly justified, a narcissist will throw this phrase in your face to try to make you feel small.
“I know it's only been a few weeks, but I've never felt like this before”
What is essential to remember:
Especially at the beginning of a relationship, narcissists often rely on a veritable love bombardment to win you over to their side. That means they'll say (and do) things to make you feel special.
The key to identifying it is that this is disproportionate. For example: He says he loves you madly when you haven't known each other for a long time. They compliment you and flatter you non-stop and suggest that they can't live without you.
“You know I didn't mean that”
Or maybe, “You know I really love you.” This is when a narcissist tries to use your goodwill towards them against you. He knows that at this stage you have strong feelings for him. So he will use that to his advantage.
When he uses such expressions, he is apologizing for having done something wrong. Try to appeal to your good nature again by saying that you should know them well enough to know that the way they acted is not their “real self”.
The problem is, in fact, this IS their true self.
“I'm sorry you feel this way”
This is an extremely frustrating phrase from anyone. At first glance, it may seem like an excuse. But in reality, it is not.
Instead of being sorry that he hurt you or did something wrong, he's just sorry that you don't like him. And this is something very different! In fact, it brings everything back to you. You probably feel like they are trying to invalidate your emotions.
“If you loved me, you would…”
Narcissists love to question your feelings for them. It's a great way for them to try to make victims. Playing the “poor me” card, they manage to switch roles. The reality is that they are unreasonable and demanding of you. They're trying to get you to do what you don't really want to do, which means they're in the wrong, not you.
But by using this expression, it turns the situation into a test of your affection. He tries to manipulate your emotions by making you feel guilty.
“That's beneath my dignity, I don't have time for that”
It's actually another way a narcissist tries to minimize your frustrations. With this expression he hopes to portray you as small and immature. Meanwhile, they try to gain the moral high ground by suggesting they'll get over it.
“If I were you, I'd be very careful what I say next”
When they don't get what they want, narcissists will resort to threats. However, they will most likely avoid doing it openly and use a suggestive phrase like the one above.
I don't give clear details about the threat, but it is implicit and therefore just as threatening. It is a warning not to contradict them in hopes of maintaining their power over you.
“It's totally unfair”
Narcissists have a distorted perception of what justice means. In their world, meeting all their needs consistently is what constitutes justice. Anything else is unfair. They are expected to live by their own rules, which are separate and above those of others.
I think they are special cases, so if they are asked to do what is expected of others, they will probably protest that it is not right.
“I don't know why you treat me like this”
Narcissists are masters of manipulation and have an innate knack for always turning things against others. Regardless of the situation, they are the victims. They are the wronged ones. They are misunderstood. They are the persecuted.
Even if you confront them with inappropriate behavior, instead of acknowledging and correcting it, they will try to make you feel bad about it. The hope is that you will feel guilty for standing your ground or having boundaries.
“You're always the drama queen”
Narcissists like to put all the blame on you. They don't misbehave, it's always you: you overreact, you can't understand that it's a joke, you're way too sensitive. All to question your answer.
They want to make you feel stupid or confused in your reaction. In this way, they can downplay the importance of their actions.
“I don't know what's wrong with you, but you seriously need help”
This technique is called gaslighting and is classic with narcissists. One of the most toxic tactics a manipulative narcissist will use is to try to make you question your sanity. They are the unbalanced ones, but they want to make you feel like the problem is entirely yours. It tries to make you question your version of reality.
Although they may try to pretend that they feel sorry for you or that they are worried about you, this type of phrase does not express concern. It's 100% an insult they throw at you to try and get you to give in.
“You used to be fun”
This is the kind of phrase a narcissist will say when you say no to one of their requests. If you try to push your boundaries, they'll try to turn that into you being suddenly rigid. In fact, they are the ones who have gone from being charming to being controlling and manipulative.
With expressions like this they want to make you think that you are the one who has changed, not them.
The goal is simple: to make you give in to whatever they want. So they will try to make you feel like someone who spoils other people's pleasures.
“We are meant to be together”
If you become romantically involved with a narcissist, it can be even harder to escape their web. After he bombards you with love, he tries to create a hyper-romantic narrative around your relationship.
It may suggest that you are soul mates or twin flames. He may be trying to remind you that true love doesn't run smoothly.
But this is only designed to make you stick with it even after things get toxic.
This plea is actually manipulation to get you to invest in your relationship, even if it's not healthy. By making you believe it's “fate” or “destiny,” they hope you'll put up with their increasingly bad behavior.
“I need you”
This is a clever phrase that makes you feel guilty and special at the same time. Hearing that someone can't live without you and relies on you puts a lot of responsibility on your shoulders.
Too much, actually! But he can also play with your emotions by making you feel like you are more important to him than anyone else.
“How could you abandon me after all I've done for you!”
Maybe you found the courage and strength to remove a narcissist from your life. When you can't take his unreasonable behavior anymore, you know you need to cut ties. But it won't be easy. Instead of accepting your decisions, he may try to lure you back by appealing to your sense of loyalty. He wants to make you feel bad for letting him down or not supporting him.
But despite his protests, you owe him nothing. Your first duty should always be to yourself.
How to reject a narcissist's manipulation
Identifying narcissistic expressions is only the first step. You have to learn the best way to protect yourself.
You have to try to avoid confrontation and resist being drawn into what they are telling you. That will mean reminding yourself that it's NOT YOUR FAULT. Instead, you must refuse to play their game and work on strengthening your own boundaries. Consider whether you should remove this person from your life once and for all. And above all, don't be afraid to seek outside support for guidance and comfort in this regard.
