A happy couple does not mean the total absence of conflicts. In more than 30,000 couples studied, experts have identified 6 key phrases that appear in successful relationships and that can turn any misunderstanding into an opportunity for connection.
A few simple phrases can end conflicts in couples PHOTO Archive
Healthy relationships are not based on the absence of conflict, but on how the two partners manage these moments of tension, according to CNBC.
As happily married psychologists of 35 years, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman share lessons learned from observing thousands of couples, providing valuable insight into how they can be managed in a healthy way .
1. “Feel” – Openly expressed emotions
Use this phrase when you need to express your emotions in a clear way. “I feel fear. Please tell me this in a gentler way”, “I feel like you don't understand me now”, are examples of effective use. This open approach helps turn the conflict into a moment of self-disclosure and mutual understanding.
2. “I need to calm down” – Requesting a pause for reflection
When you feel overwhelmed or need a breather, say, “I need to calm down.” This phrase opens the door to support and attentive listening, making it easier to return to a constructive discussion.
3. “I'm sorry” – Acknowledging mistakes and asking for forgiveness
When the situation calls for it, admitting we were wrong can be essential. “My reactions were too extreme. I am sorry”, “I want to be gentler with you right now and I don't know how”are examples of how we can bring an element of humanity and vulnerability to conflict.
4. “Let's stop” – Requesting a break
When tensions rise, a break can be a lifesaver. “I could be wrong here, please stop for a moment”, “Give me a moment. I'm coming back”, “Let's agree to disagree”are phrases that allow moments of reflection and prevent conflict from escalating.
5. “Support” – Partner Validation
To support a positive discussion, use phrases like “I agree with some of what you're saying”, “I think your point makes sense” or “Let's make a compromise here.” These phrases indicate openness to common solutions and mutual understanding.
6. “Like” – Adding positivity to the conversation
Whether it's a “I love you” or “Thank you for…” bringing up the positive elements in the discussion helps maintain a strong connection. This way of bouncing back from conflict adds value to the relationship and acknowledges its positive aspects.
Ultimately, what matters in a relationship is how both partners respond to moments of conflict. Using these phrases to mend things can be the key to maintaining a healthy and lasting connection.
