All couples reach, after many years, a moment when they start asking themselves questions about themselves. The routine begins to take its toll and questions arise about the veracity of their feelings. They start to get cold feet or even sneeze at couples therapy.
Communication as a couple is the key to a successful relationship PHOTO Shutterstock
If you've reached that point in your relationship, couples therapy might help. But, even if you don't seriously consider calling a specialist, you can find solutions. Your relationship can be put back on track and the flame can be rekindled. It only takes a few communication exercises as a couple. You just have to both want it and that way you will learn to eliminate the problems between you.
Here are some couples therapy exercises that you can do in privacy without much effort.
1. List of gratitude
The lack of appreciation from the partner is one of the most common causes of the cooling of the relationship. The therapeutic exercise “gratitude list” touches on exactly this topic. Here's what you have to do:
Each of you will write a list of at least one thing the other did to show appreciation. Maybe there was a time when he thought to help you clean or woke up at night to change the baby's diapers to let you rest. Or maybe he cooked dinner for you. They can be small gestures, it doesn't necessarily have to have brought you the moon from the sky.
Make the list every day, for five days, recommends Alina Blagoi.
2. Unfolding
The exercise will help you express your feelings, listen to each other's grievances. Resentments that build up are the surest path to a relationship breakdown. That's why this exercise will help you bring them to the surface.
Once a week ask each other if you have each done anything to hurt the other. You will slowly learn to open up to each other and call things out. Empathize and listen carefully to each other.
3. List of fun things
It's natural to have different ways of having fun, but not entirely. Maybe he prefers to watch a game with the boys while you enjoy a shopping session with the girls. From time to time it is natural to have fun separately, but it is very important to enjoy the time spent together. Find out what you both like and check off one idea at least monthly. You will learn to share passions and hobbies and discover each other and yourself.
4. List of proofs of love
Each month, write down five things you have done to express your love for your partner. Do this with both of you, so you can decipher how the other person shows their love without saying the words “I love you.”
5. The hour of honesty
Establish an “honesty hour” each week. In this hour you must have “immunity” to the other's negative reactions. That is, during this hour you can tell each other everything that is on your mind, without receiving a negative reaction from the other. The rule is to listen to your partner and not take anything personally.
6. Strengthening the intimate connection
It should be quite an intense moment. Once a week, choose a neutral space where it's just the two of you. You just need to look into each other's eyes, focus on your feelings, hug each other, caress each other.
