What is delayed ejaculation? What you need to know about this problem and how to get rid of it

While young men tend to climax too quickly, as they get older there is a flip side to that problem: a condition known as delayed ejaculation.

Delayed ejaculation can lead to problems in couples PHOTO Archive

There isn't much research on this, but a 2016 study estimated that between 1% and 4% of men suffer from delayed ejaculation all the time or when they are with a partner. The researchers also noted that it is “the least studied and least understood phenomenon among male sexual dysfunctions”notes Yahoo Life.

Delayed ejaculation is the inability to climax within a reasonable amount of time. The idea of ​​a reasonable amount of time varies from person to person, but some experts cite the need for more than 30 minutes of sexual stimulation to reach orgasm as a sign of a problem.

Ignoring the problem can trap couples in a cycle of anxiety, to the point of deciding not to have sex at all.

Ways to break that cycle

Talk to your partner

Don't let this problem become the “elephant in the room” – or the bed.

“Without talking about the issue, our minds are left to speculate and ruminate. The partner may begin to worry that the person they are having a relationship with is no longer attracted to them or is bored with sex.”Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of She Comes First, tells Yahoo Life.

Communication is crucial, and Kerner notes that how we approach these topics matters.

“When you have these conversations, always start with how you feel and your own vulnerability. Generally, talking about the elephant in the room is a relief and gets you on the same team“, he says.

Rule out medical problems

Medical problems known to cause delayed ejaculation include low testosterone, spinal cord injuries, and certain infections. Erectile dysfunction can also be a side effect of common medications such as antidepressants and blood pressure medications. A new study has found that erectile dysfunction is associated with more underlying health problems — both physical, such as testicular dysfunction, and emotional, such as anxiety — than premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.

Dr. Michael Eisenberg, a urologist at Stanford University, says a health care provider can assess whether a medical problem is causing delayed ejaculation.

“We will assess the timing of the condition, determine if it is situational, assess hormones and determine underlying health conditions”he says, per the source cited.

Change your routine

Delayed ejaculation can also be caused by desensitization of the sexual organ. Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the UCLA Men's Health Clinic, says that like all other parts of our bodies, the sex organ can lose sensitivity as we age. They can also get used to certain triggers:

“There are no holes as tight as your own hand. If this is a habit, sensitivity issues may arise”says Mills.

Masturbation can be beneficial, but if you suspect desensitization, consider cutting back, especially when you're about to have sex.

Resetting expectations can also help. Remember that penetrative sex isn't everything. Just as many women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, you may also need something more intense. Consider adding sex toys, which can amplify your orgasm.

Find an expert

If you're still having trouble completing it, it may be time to see an expert, whether that's a sexual medicine doctor or a sex therapist.

A sexual medicine expert can also help couples dealing with erectile dysfunction while trying to conceive. Eisenberg says there are medical treatments for ejaculation that can help couples separate fertility issues from sexual concerns.

Experts say that sex should be enjoyable and release stress, not cause it.