“Happiness and mental health in the third age do not depend only on individual factors, but are highly influenced by emotional interdependence and the quality of long-lasting relationships.” Clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Geta Udrea explains for Adevărul why stable relationships, based on empathy and mutual support, can become pillars of longevity and mental balance in adulthood.
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“Recent scientific studies show more and more clearly that happiness and mental health in the third age do not depend only on individual factors, such as physical health or financial status, but are highly influenced by emotional interdependence and the quality of long-term relationships. At this stage of life, social relationships, especially those of couples, become real pillars for well-being, longevity and disease prevention mental conditions such as depression, anxiety or feelings of loneliness”, says clinical psychologist Geta Udrea.
How your partner’s emotions influence your own well-being
A European study published in Social Indicators Research looked at more than 24,000 couples from 28 countries and found that each partner’s life satisfaction becomes increasingly interdependent with age. “For every additional point in their partner’s happiness, the other gains an average of 0.3 points in their own level of satisfaction, a phenomenon known as happiness contagion.”explains Geta Udrea.
“Thus, positive and negative emotions are transmitted and amplified between partners, having a direct impact on their well-being. This mechanism of emotional contagion is psychologically explained by the theory of lived interdependence: as partners grow older, they assume the roles of mutual care and support, creating a dynamic in which affective states spread and mutually reinforce each other.” she says.
According to the psychotherapist, neuroscience confirms this interdependence: “Certain areas of the brain, such as the prefrontal cortex and the insula, are activated simultaneously, even in sync, during moments of empathy and shared experiences. This explains, from a biological point of view, the contagion of happiness.'”
The social network, a shield against affective addiction
“An essential element in maintaining healthy interdependence is the role of extended social networks, such as friends or family members. For women, a narrow social network amplifies dependence on a partner, while a wide network provides beneficial emotional autonomy. This helps prevent affective dependence and ensures emotional stability.” explains Geta Udrea.
Healthy couple and social relationships are, according to the specialist, “fundamental factors for mental health”. She also recalls the long-standing research of the Harvard Study of Adult Development:
“The idea that mutual support in couples can act as a protective factor against depression and anxiety was also confirmed by the Harvard study, conducted over 80 years. The happiest and healthiest seniors had quality social relationships, not necessarily wealth or social positions.”
According to research conducted by Robert Waldinger and cited by clinical psychologist Geta Udrea, “the most important variables for a healthy and happy old age are the quality of relationships and the social network. At age 80, what matters most is not your cholesterol level or your income, but the depth of your emotional connections.“
How can mature partners maintain emotional balance
“In the face of difficult periods (illness, loss or social withdrawal) maintaining a healthy emotional balance becomes possible by maintaining an open and honest dialogue. Partners can express their vulnerabilities, fears and needs, thus strengthening trust and mutual understanding. Such a quality communication helps to avoid manifestations of emotional dependence, turning the relationship into a real but balanced support”, explains Geta Udrea.
“Diversifying the external social network becomes an essential strategy. Friends, extended family, volunteer activities, hobbies or participation in community groups reduce the risk of loneliness and provide additional sources of emotional support. In this way, the couple relationship remains a stable core, but does not become a form of emotional isolation.”
She adds that practices such as mindfulness, meditation and emotional self-regulation “they are effective for managing stress and maintaining emotional independence, even in the face of illness or loss. Healthy interdependence means mutual support, not dissolution into the other.”
Community, the antidote to loneliness
“Studies in neuroscience and psychology make it clear that extensive social networks are an essential pillar in maintaining long-term mental health. Community participation, cultural, sporting or volunteer activities stimulate the brain, strengthen empathy and emotional resilience,” says Geta Udrea.
“To prevent loneliness and support the mental health of older people, public policies and community programs must focus not only on individual therapy, but also on developing strong social support networks. Support groups, counseling activities, senior volunteering, and civic engagement can become effective forms of prevention.” she points out.
Happiness, a shared construction
“Happiness in the third age is not reduced to luck or favorable circumstances, but is built on healthy relationship dynamics, on connection and mutual support. Current studies, both European and Harvard, direct our attention to a reevaluation of values: social and emotional relationships, as pillars of mental health, longevity and quality of life in general”adds psychologist Geta Udrea.
“Wisdom, in this sense, lies in cultivating quality relationships, in promoting conscious and active social fitness, and in our ability to be a support for one another. Empathy, mutual support, and honest communication are the true pillars of a fulfilling life at any age.” says the psychologist.
When happiness wanes: The role of health and partner care
Moreover, a new study published in the journal Social Indicators Research shows that the life satisfaction of the partner has a significant impact on one’s own state of happiness, especially in the third age. The research, carried out on the basis of a sample of almost 25,000 couples from 28 European countries, shows that in long-term relationships, emotional well-being becomes a common phenomenon, a state that is mutually reflected between partners.
The research team led by Terhi Auvinen, from the University of Eastern Finland, discovered a clear correlation between the life satisfaction of the two partners. On average, for each additional point on the happiness scale of one spouse, the other reports an increase of 0.3 points. The link is maintained regardless of age, income, health or other socio-economic conditions.
“It is well known that couple and close social relationships contribute to well-being. The experiences and challenges of those around us are also reflected in us.” explained Terhi Auvinen, PhD student at the University of Eastern Finland.
The emotional bond becomes more fragile when one of the partners has chronic health problems or when only one of them assumes the role of caregiver. In these situations, the researchers observed a slight decrease in emotional interdependence: a possible sign that the constant responsibility to care for the other can create emotional distance.
Gender differences also play a subtle role. For women, the emotional connection with their partner is stronger when their social network is narrow. The more friends or confidants they have, the less their own happiness becomes dependent on that of their partner. In men, the size of the social circle does not significantly influence this connection.
Eastern Europe, more emotionally dependent
The research also shows significant cultural differences. The correlation between partner happiness is strongest in Eastern and Southern European countries such as Hungary, Slovakia and Greece. Conversely, in western and northern states (Finland, Denmark, Sweden, Switzerland) where the general level of satisfaction is higher and social support systems are more solid, emotional dependence between partners is less.
The results suggest that happiness is not just an individual matter, but a “two-in-one” affair. Interventions aimed at improving a person’s quality of life. For example, through psychological support or medical care: they can also have beneficial effects on their partner.
“The SHARE project allows us to better understand the consequences of population aging and provide relevant information for decision makers”, stated professor Ismo Linnosmaa, co-author of the study.
The research entitled “(Un)happy Together – The Interrelated Life Satisfaction of Older Couples” was carried out by Terhi Auvinen, Joonas Uotinen and Maria Vaalavuo and is based on data collected through the Survey of Health, Aging and Retirement in Europe (SHARE), one of the largest projects monitoring the quality of life of people over 50.
