The period of butterflies in the stomach, great love and physical attraction are no longer so important to today's youth. Psychologist Alina Uricec explains what matters in a couple's relationship for generation Z
Physical attraction is no longer important to Gen Z Photo Source The Truth
“
Until I loved you”
An old song that generations have hummed speaks of all the pain and beauty that comes with love. Love was once considered the spring of existence and the meaning of people's lives. If we ask people from different generations what love means, surely their answers would make up a picture that shows how people's way of loving has changed over time.
For our grandparents and parents, life seemed to be predictable. To go to school, to meet someone, to fall in love, to get married, to have a child, to work… People seemed united for life, for better or for worse.
Today, “Until I Loved You” it is forgotten and seems hard to imagine. The latest INS data show that for Romanians, love lasts three years…or a decade and then divorce occurs.
“Love is the moment that, in fact, all relationships go through. We are in the period of butterflies in the stomach, of symbiosis, when we have the impression that the other completes us, we guess our thoughts and desires. We don't even realize when time passes and, in the relationship, in the marriage, we reach the period of power struggle, when we feel betrayed. We see the man next to us and we don't know what happened, how and where that idyllic image of the partner disappeared.. It's the moment when we start to see only his flaws. Couples divorce because they can no longer find a common place from which to see the world. There are many wounds that we inflict on each other and we end up with a negative view of our partner. We no longer manage to see the values, ideals, goals that united us at the beginning” says psychologist Alina Uricec.
And when the butterflies in the stomach have taken flight, and the hormones of happiness are fully satisfied, marriages hardly survive another 12 years. The specialist emphasizes in the interview in Adevărul Live that a strong reason behind separations is related to the financial side, one of the main aspects of dissension in a couple.
“It often ends up here, because we didn't take the time to talk about it. Very rarely in a couple, the two partners have the same values, the same money story, the same principles. In a relationship, we come with the story of our family, with what we saw there. We are influenced by the behavior of our parents, by their financial decisions. But equally, we also relate to our own personal experiences that we have had with money.” says the psychologist.
Financial matching is taking over in Gen Z couples
Much more mature than we think, today's young people are careful about money when they decide to form a couple. A study carried out in the USA by Northwestern Mutual shows that 49% of those questioned declare that they are much more interested in the financial match than the physical one. Today's young people are affected by financial anxiety, for them money represents a real stress factor.
To avoid further conflicts on the subject of money, 32% of Generation Z are willing to discuss their financial habits with their partner in advance.
Psychologist Alina Uricec points out in the Adevărul Live edition that “Perhaps Generation Z is also starting to look more closely at values related to money, how we manage money, what it means to us, what we want from a financial point of view. It is important to understand what money actually means to us? Is it status? What does that say about me? Is it about safety? “
The psychologist believes that a serious discussion about the relationship with money in a couple is very important, right from the beginning of the relationship. This does not mean that one of the partners must impose on the other his story that he lived in the relationship with money. It doesn't just boil down to the two poses where one is perhaps the spender and the other is the one who collects the money for dark days.
“It is important that the partners show that they are willing to be flexible and meet in the middle. Ok, I raise money because it means comfort for the partner, but equally, how much we can afford to indulge in little pleasures so that we feel like we are living life and the partner in turn feels like he is bringing his part of the story in the relationship” says the psychologist for Adevărul Live.
Generation Z has a much healthier attitude, moving away from what we call romantic love.
The psychologist explains this preference for financial opposition as a response to what young people have learned about money from their own families.
“Generation Z has learned that money is very important. They break away a bit from this concept of romantic love, where money doesn't become an issue. Today's young people have a slightly more pragmatic attitude, maybe even healthier. They don't say they take someone because they have money, but rather partners want to know what each of them's relationship with money is. What does he really want? How does he see his life from now on? How does it relate to saving, to spending money? psychologist Alina Uricec says for Adevărul Live
Watch the full edition of Adevărul Live produced and moderated by Antoaneta Banu and find out what psychologist Alina Uricec's advice is about relationships, couples and money.
