The management of a school in the Netherlands has temporarily blocked parents’ access to notes in the catalog, writes The Guardian. The reason? It seems that the students, stressed and anxious due to the pressure exerted by their parents, began to achieve lower and lower school performance. It is a decision that should also make us think, because we live in times where high grades are not hunted by children but, rather, by their parents. They often resort to blackmail, threats and punishments if there is not 10 on the line in the book.
“Shooting” grades of 10, a trend among Romanian students. Source: archive
For almost three months, the parents of students studying at Jordan – Montessori Lyceum in Utrecht were banned from the application that notifies them about the grades obtained by the children. It seems that this total control of the students, who could not make a move without their parents’ knowledge, increased their stress levels considerably. This is the conclusion reached by Stijn Uittenbogaard, one of the economics professors who teach at the school. He calculated the level of stress among 500 children, half of the total number of students enrolled in the educational unit, and the conclusion was as clear as possible: followed step by step by parents, the children became more and more stressed, more anxious, anxious and fearful. Consequence? They achieved lower and lower school performance.
The teacher’s analysis involved the students’ assessment of the degree of stress on a scale from 1 to 5. What did the teacher discover? Children whose parents constantly checked the app rated their stress at 2.7 out of 5. On the other hand, those whose parents didn’t constantly check their notifications reported a stress level of around two. The conclusion came by itself: a very high pressure of parents on children, their desire to have absolute control led to a completely different result than expected. “This pressure for students to achieve very well has emerged recently, now, lately. When I was at school there was a report four times a year, but otherwise you could tell your parents when and what you wanted. Now parents can get a push notification on their phones: “Hey, your kid got a new result,” and the kid comes home with their parents ready to chat. This is awful,” the teacher stated.
“Students have the right to make mistakes. That’s the only way they’ll learn, from mistakes”
Headmaster Geert Looyschelder believes that grade anxiety in the traditional Dutch school system dominates the development of life skills such as empathy and flexibility: “The Montessori method was to teach students what it means to be responsible for the choices they make in their learning process. Having parents looking over students’ shoulders only causes stress,” he said. “In our educational system, we always say: You have the right to make mistakes. That’s how you learn'”.
The example that comes from the Netherlands should also raise a question mark for us. Because, in Romania, the pressure that some parents put on the shoulders of students is perhaps even greater. There are parents who enroll their children in the 5th grade at prestigious colleges where the exams are extremely tough and the competition fierce. However, in order to be admitted, the child needs additional training, meditations, since the second or third grade. There are parents who only accept 10 on the line, who push their children to chase high grades, many of them shot, not worked. Most mothers want the first prize with a crown, results in school competitions or Olympics, if possible since the first grade. Which, up to a point, is very good. But, when the limit is exceeded, the child suffers a lot.
There are parents who raise the bar very high, with high demands and very hard to please who, without realizing it, turn their children into little robots. We are not talking about parents who, after school, enroll their children in various activities, courses or private lessons. Playing with dolls, with the ball behind the block, swings in the park, socializing..there is no time for that!
Psychologist Mihai Copăceanu. Source: The Truth
The digital catalog, a misunderstood concept
In all this context, of the enormous pressure faced by students, the digital catalog that is implemented in schools in Romania could also come with some disadvantages. Basically, the parent is in ultimate control of what happens at school with their child. Find out his grades, if he missed class, how many absences he has, find out other information about his behavior in class, the reprimands he receives from teachers, he is notified whenever the teachers consider it necessary.
Gone are the days when I said I lost my notebook to hide a bad grade. As well as the times when we did not inform our parents that there was a meeting at school. But no too strict control is indicated, experts believe. They believe that mistakes are part of the students’ learning process. But if the mistake is severely punished, the child, out of fear, may refuse to learn.
“In my opinion, the real challenge is not the existence of the digital catalog or its absence, but precisely the reaction of parents in concrete situations”, psychologist Mihai Copăceanu explained for “Adevărul”. He believes that there are two extremes among parents: “Relaxed and under-involved parents who disregard school and do not have even average educational standards and overprotective, authoritarian parents who want to control the child’s every step, every grade obtained. They try to make sure that their own child registers only successes, from the first primary classes or, if possible, even from kindergarten”.
The psychologist believes that the mistake that many parents make is that very “attitude of super-power and control. “There are people who adopt strategies of blackmail or threatening, inducing some fears in the case of small notes”. The consequence? In reality, children, especially those of a small age, can become timid and anxious, fearful and downright scared of any small grade, of any failure.”
Psychologist: “A grade of 3 shouldn’t be a tragedy”
On the other hand, as everywhere in the world, the skills acquired at school must, in one way or another, be evaluated. In other words, students cannot escape grades. What they can do instead is change their perception of them. “Fortunately, we find that in some schools in Romania, quite a few, and especially in the private educational environment, the focus of educational objectives strictly on measurable results has decreased. A child represents an emotional, psychological and cognitive universe, its harmonious development over the years can also include moments of impasse, including a 3 to mathematicsbut this does not mean a long-term failure”.
Psychologist Mihai Copăceanu recommends parents to understand their own child and to see him not only as a student whose role is to work at school, “just as we work at work, to bring in money necessary for survival. The fact that we reduce the pressure on grades does not mean indifference or carelessness. On the contrary. It means understanding the psycho-emotional development of the child”, the specialist also specified.
