Why parents project their dreams and unfulfillments onto their own children. “Child Emperor” Syndrome

What is missing in the child-parent relationship is honest and deep communication, but also understanding, especially from adults, in relation to the real needs of the little ones.

Some parents project their dreams onto their own children PHOTO archive The Truth

Psychologist Stelian Chivu is of the opinion that parents must learn to dissociate their children's feelings from their behavior and act with tact and patience to solve the problems that the little ones face.

“Deep communication between parent and child is necessary. It is a communication that, unfortunately, children do not understand and parents do not know. We are talking about communication on a spiritual, mental, emotional and physical level”, explains the specialist.

The evolution of child-parent communication from two to 21 years

According to specialized studies, the child up to the age of two has balanced cerebral hemispheres and communicates openly with his parents.

From two to six years old, children go into deep communication with their parents, who become a kind of God for them. From seven to 14 years, communication is strongly influenced by the mental programs taken from the family, school, environment and society.

From 14 to 21 years old, the child forms his personality, with the specifics built by his own interior and what they take from the outside.

Psychologist Stelian Chivu PHOTO personal archive

Psychologist Stelian Chivu PHOTO personal archive

Young people between 28 and 35 communicate deeply with their own children, are empathetic and understand their feelings, says psychologist Stelian Chivu. On the other hand, some of them tend to pass on their own dreams, desires, failures and traumas to their children.

Between the ages of 35 and 42, some adults constantly pass on their unfulfillment and desires to their own children, with the idea that the latter will become a necessity for them.

“A 50-year-old parent will not understand a one-year-old child”

Between the ages of 42 and 49, parents usually run out of time, patience and energy, and some of them pass it on to their own children to make things happen now, whether it's possible or not.

“Here's why a 50-year-old parent won't understand a one-year-old who's making a fuss. On the adult's side we have age, life experience, but also fatigue, while on the child's side we have energy, impatience and the desire to experience and know various things”, psychologist Stelian Chivu claims.

Parents would, among other things, want their children to be good and respectful, while little ones want everything here and now. They are psychoemotional manifestations misunderstood and unhealed by parents, which they then manifest on their own children.

Against this background, there is a risk that the little ones will develop what in specialized literature is called the “emperor's child” syndrome, a behavior disorder manifested by the tendency to dominate and tyrannical behavior towards parents.

Parents have forgotten what they were like as children. Instead, they want their own child to act as if they have the wisdom and life experience commensurate with their age. Obviously, it's not possible. There is also a tendency to give them everything that they lacked when they were young, thus facilitating the manifestation of the “child emperor” syndrome, which will create a real handicap for the child when he becomes an adult.” concludes the psychologist Stelian Chivu.