The biological clock or social pressure? What causes women to want marriage more than men? Theories are multiple and often contradictory, although some are proven by statistics.
It seems that women want relationships more than men. Photo archive
Concerned about social relations, lately on the Internet, more and more posts have appeared from which it is the woman who discusses the engagement or marriage, while the man hesitates, avoids or closes the conversation.
“There is a generalized stereotype of the genre according to which” women want more relationships than men, and men want more sex than women. ” Men tend to be forced to convince women to initiate relationships, women tend to be forced to convince men to engage in relationships.
Like most genre stereotypes, this is not valid for everyone. To the extent that it is generally true, it is probably a mixture of biology (“love and escape” is a viable reproduction strategy for males, not so much for females, who must wear a child for 9 months and then take care of him for years for him to have a reasonable chance of survival) and culture (the little girls are not)wrote on Reddit an Internetaut, trying to answer the question “Why are the women who initiate discussions about the engagement or marriage, and men withdraw? ”.
Brief characterization of women and men
Characterizing the conclusions as “a bargain”, another Internetor wanted to specify that there are a lot of exceptions.
“Women are generally more active on social networks, so they see the chronology of relationships for other people.
Women are more susceptible to the pressure of society in terms of appearance, beauty, etc., so they feel they have to be young and beautiful when they marry.
Women are indoctrinated to believe that marriage is the climax of their lives, often asked why they are alone, why they are not married, why they had no children …
On the other hand, some women believe that marriage requests should be total surprises, so I’m not talking about it, they just wait to happen.
Women believe they can cause their partners to change, so “they are not interested in marriage” is perceived as “I am not interested in marriage now”, without imposing a deadline for fear of not being considered demanding.
As for men, they think they must be financial suppliers, which means “enough” and, because this is not a quantifiable amount, “enough” turns into significant changes. Men are not used to talking about their feelings, so I don’t know how to handle emotion -based conversations.
People (of any sex) are afraid to break relationships that are not good“, A participant in the discussion wrote.
Burlacii vs. old girls
Perfectly agree with his predecessor, another Internetaut made a parallel between the perception of the society about a single man, compared to that of a single woman.
“Exact. A single man is a bacon (the word has good connotations – it’s cool, loves the best life, usually has a house/place for parties).
A single woman was known before “old girl” (a word with negative connotations-she still lives with her parents, in the old woman a woman could not buy a house without a man, no man will take her, does not do the duty of a woman by giving children to the world)
Fortunately, women are no longer called “old girls”, we can survive without a man, but these labels are still present and are put in most cases by other women. As a person without children, whenever I hear … When you get married, children change everything. It is different when it comes to you, you will change yourself when you meet the right man, etc.
So, from an early age, even in the subconscious, when you hear this you begin to plant the seed that this is the only thing you, as a woman, can do.
At the opposite pole are the men, who still hear about Uncle Jonny, a bell and funny, who play on the field ”wrote another participant in discussions.
“In love with the idea of being in love.”
Paring that he does not agree with previous theories at all, another Internet has opted that many women marry inappropriate men only for the sake of being in a relationship.
“I think this is because so many women are desperate to have a relationship that they don’t care about the quality of the man they are with. Too many women are in love with the idea of being in love. Usually, “men who move away” are actually boys who have never really felt that girl, and she simply does not understand any hint. Men who love their women will ask them to marry before the woman thinks about it. They are attracted to women and are eager to marry her ”added another person.
Financially, you must be worthy of having a wife
There are a lot of reasons, he said another participant in discussions, listing including the financial insecurity of the man who hesitates to marry.
“I think there are a lot of reasons. Men are trained to be the ones who maintain. If they are not in a solid financial position, they will not be considered” worthy “to maintain a wife. Of course, it is not true that they are unworthy, but you cannot get this out of the way someone has been raised and educated.
Men tend to mature a little slowerso, depending on his age, you may need to grow a little longer. It is simply not so attracted to it, but it is too comfortable and/or avoiding to separate.
Social networks and pornography: Create the wait that there is always a “better” partner. In the past, men had only women in their community and famous girls/stars they knew were unlikely to meet them in real life. Social networks give the impression that there are all kinds of girls who are just waiting for them.
I think this is my opinion: society has recently increased a lot of women with anxious attachment and avoidant attachment. I don’t know how or if that can be corrected.
In the past, the expectations of the society were to get married. This changes, marriage is now seen as optional instead of mandatory. Loaning and having children outside the marriage are no longer as taboo as before. If you are already playing home, most men will accommodate too much with the situation, and women will feel safe enough to prevent pressure. “another wrote.
What the statistics say about the marriage of Romanians
From the point of view of the number of marriages registered last year, Romanians are better than other European states, in our country registering 101,442 marriages, of which 55,000 in the urban environment.
The structure of marriages by age groups in 2024 highlights the fact that a significant part of young people postpone marriage after the age of 35, 24639 marriages (24.3%) being concluded between women and men of 35 years and over (27.9% in the urban environment and 20.1% in the rural area).
In 2024, the average age at the time of marriage decreased compared to the previous year, on average by 0.3 years in both women and men. Thus, the average age of marriage, in 2024, was 31.4 years in women and 34.4 years in men. The gap between the average age of the spouses continued to remain for 3.0 years, an aspect considered favorable in terms of the conditions necessary to ensure procreation.
In 2024, the average age at the first marriage was 32.0 years for men and 28.8 years for women, decreasing compared to 2023 by 0.4 years in men and 0.3 years in women. In 2024, the tendency to move these indicators to older age limits (after 28 years for women, respectively after 32 years for men) is maintained. In the long term, this phenomenon is likely to negatively influence birth, as a result of reducing the fertile period of persons.
Data for the year 2023 (the last year for which data at European level are available) highlight that Romania is among the countries with a high rate of 5.8 ‰, compared to the European average 4.0 ‰. The lowest European levels at European level were registered in Slovenia (3.0 ‰), Italy (3.1 ‰), and the highest rates of bridality were recorded in Latvia (5.6 ‰), and Hungary (5.2 ‰).
The rate of bridality is calculated by reporting the number of marriages to the average resident population of each country in the reference year.
On average, Romanians marry at 34 years old and divorce at 44
In the year 2024, the number of divorces pronounced by definitive court decisions and by the agreement of the spouses (by administrative or by notarial procedure) was 20692, decreasing by 2023 divorces compared to the previous year. The divorce rate decreased from 1.04 divorces to 1000 inhabitants in 2023, to 0.95 divorces in 1000 inhabitants in 2024.
The ratio between the number of divorces pronounced by definitive court decisions and by the agreement of the spouses (by administrative or by notarial procedure) and the number of marriages concluded was, in 2024, by a divorce to 4.9 marriages.
The distribution of age and sex groups of people who divorced in 2024 presents the following aspects:
• On average, the divorce appears with the highest frequency in the age group 45-49 years, in the case of men (17.7% of divorces), and in the case of women in the age group 35-39 years (18.5% of divorces), followed by the age group 35-39 years in the case of men, (17.0% of divorces), and in the case of divorces, divorces);
• the number of women up to 30 years old who divorced was 2.2 times higher than the number of men belonging to the same age group;
• Starting with the age of 50, the number of men who have divorced increases significantly compared to women: 1.3 times in the age group 50-54 years, 1.5 times in the age group 55-59 years and 1.8 times in the age group 60 years and over.
The average age of the spouses for divorce was 44.9 years for men and 41.4 years for women.
Comparing the average age of divorce with the average age of marriage (34.4 years for men and 31.4 years for women) it can be seen in the case of couples who have divorced that the sequence of marital life lasts, on average, 10.5 years for men, respectively 10.0 years for women.
Compared to the other countries in the European Union, in 2023 (the last year for which data available at European level), Romania, with a divorce rate of 1.2 ‰, was below the European average (1.6 ‰). The lowest divorce rates at European level were registered in Slovenia (1.0 ‰) and Croatia (1.1 ‰), and the largest, in Latvia (2.8 ‰), Lithuania (2.5 ‰) and Finland (2.1 ‰).
